The number of the day is 11 and the word for the day is Chabon --

My J and I are celebrating our monthsary today and, for some strange reason, we decided to get each other Michael Chabon's books -- I got him a copy of Kavalier and Clay and he got me a copy of McSweeney's Thrilling Tales.

It happened last Wednesday after another session of place-in-Katipunan hunting. We found ourselves in Aeon Books (which is still on sale, btw). Of all the books there, it was the Chabon books that were calling out to us and so we got them -- impulse buy talaga. ^_^

But we are pleased with our purchases. ^_^

* * *

Wise words from a 50-something --

Wednesday evening, my J and I stayed up past our usual time to finish watching the movie "In Good Company," which stars Topher Grace and Dennis Quaid. It's a movie everyone in their 20s should watch.

"You're going to be okay."

That's what Dennis Quaid's character tells Topher Grace.

I found this somewhat reassuring. Hearing someone older (albeit a fictitious character) say that we will be okay.

I think our generation has been pressured to, not just perform, but to excel and we drive ourselves towards these goals. Failure is not an option and that is our greatest fear.

We need to pass Ateneo. We need to pass DLSU. We need to pass UP.
We need to get into a good course. We need to get good grades.
We have to work for good companies. We want promotions and good jobs and great salaries.

Notice the proliferation of tutorial centers -- these days, it doesn't seem to be enough that students do their best. They need someone to help them do better than their best.

And even then, it isn't enough.

During one tarot reading session with A, one of the things the cards told me is that I shouldn't be afraid of failure.

I was pushing myself to achieve, no -- to overachieve and I was forgetting to breathe.

I try to do that now. Once in a while, I let myself hang back a little because, really -- if I relax for a day, what's the worst thing that could happen?

I was recently observed in my Lit class and (my J could attest to this) I've been very tense and worried about the observation for some time now. I was trying to figure out how to teach the novel properly and efficiently -- I had outlines and transparencies and notecards. I read the novel twice in the span of 3 days.

When I went to my class for the test run (I had a day to test out the method I was going to use), it came out really bad. I did everything that we're told is good teaching but that was, perhaps, my worst session for Lit13.

On the day of the observation, while walking through my path, I thought -- screw it. I'll teach it the way I teach it. I'll teach it and make sure my kids enjoy the novel and appreciate literature more. Screw observation. Screw efficiency and proper methods.

I went in class that day and had the best lecture ever. The insights were amazing! After a semester of discussing insights and ideas about literature -- everything that they've read and thought about has culminated into a really great discussion of the novel.

True enough, when it was time to discuss the evaluation, the observer said that more could have been done -- that I needed to motivate my students more. Bottom line, it wasn't very good feedback.

Normally, news like that would crush me. But, for that day, I chose to focus on the fact that I did my best and I knew that my students were enjoying their class and that they were enjoying literature.

I thanked the observer for the feedback and made a note of it to myself for future reflection.

But, for that day, I breathed deeply and patted myself on the back for a good job and went out to lunch with friends.

* * *

More thoughts --

On the ride home last Wednesday, there was this high school student (couldn't identify the uniform) and her two friends. They had occupied an entire bench on the lrt. The girl was lounging while texting and her two friends had their bags on the seats.

When people came in, they didn't bother to ask for the seats. Instead, they endured the trip standing up.

Bleh.

I was reading about this one person who has a really bad rep in the business. When asked to explain her behavior, she said she was going through a difficult time, which was why she couldn't make the deadline for certain projects.

She caused a lot of people a lot of grief and yet they're giving her another chance.

I'm glad we give people an opportunity to start fresh -- but, paminsan, we take it too far.

Even in government, di ba -- we are aware that some of our officials have a speckled past -- pero we still vote for them and trust them with running our country.

We are too forgiving as a people. We excuse bad behavior at our own expense.