Monday, January 12, 2004

Had a really nice chat with E today --

Made me think (hahaha -- bad word ^_^) about what I want for myself this year -- and that is to not think too much; to do more and worry less.

I have a really bad case of analysis paralysis. I tend to over-analyze things to the point that I've resolved whatever it is in my head even before I've done anything. E said something that really made a lot of sense -- he said that I think I want for nothing because I'm too afraid to do anything.

He's right --

I think people think I'm very self-assured and confident (A read this during one of our Tarot sessions), but I'm really so effing scared of consequences (or perceived consequences). I have taken some steps to try to resolve this, but it's just so easy to fall back into safe, comfortable habits... ~sigh~

And then I was reading something and the question the character was asked was, "If you could be anyone in the world, who would you be?" And my answer is, me -- but a me who doesn't think or worry too much. ^_^

It's the start of a new year, I'm 26 -- things are going to change.

* * *

Still reading Einstein's Dreams and picked up a copy of Alan Lightman's Good Benito -- I told my friend A to get a copy of 31 Songs and am hoping he likes it.

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