Wednesday, December 31, 2003


... just got back from Iloilo --

It was strange to see the airport so deserted (apparently, we were one of the last flights in).

Stranger still was the number of people travelling on the last day of the year --

It felt good to be back in the condo and was pleased to see how clean it was. (I think our housekeeper was happy to have us go off for a week, giving her the chance to clean the place thoroughly. Not that it's ever dirty -- more of organized chaos ^_^)

It's less than 5 hours before the start of a new year --

(...aren't I dash-happy? ^_^)

Decided to add to my lists

Things I'm looking forward to this coming year
5. Movies! (Want to watch School of Rock! And, read in an entertainment magazine that Hollywood has bought the license to My Sassy Girl and will be releasing their own version some -- erg...) Found out from E that there's an Infernal Affairs 3 (and Tony Leung Chiu Wai is in it -- h'ray!) ... and the Harry Potter movie looks promising
4. ***
3. Some milestones: the store is turning 2 (h'ray!), i'm turning 26 (h'ray! also), etc. etc.
2. Summer vacation! (Trying to decide where to go -- for some strange reason, this year, I seem to want to go to the beach...)
1. Passing the compre, defending my thesis and graduating

*** odd: when I was thinking about this list, I knew I had a lot of things that I was looking forward to, but I can't seem to recall a lot of them. Oh well...

Some resolutions
- find a balance in my life
I'm one of those people who tends to hyperfocus on things at the expense of everything else. I would like to be able to do the things I like and still have time to spend with friends, etc.

- learn something new
My friend and I are planning on taking some (*ahem*) dance lessons ... not sure if this will push through.

- be more patient

- watch a musical
One of the things I've sacrificed is this and I feel bad about it. I really should try to find time to watch one play/musical a quarter... of course, there is the issue of funds. ^_^

- laugh more, worry less


That's it for now. Happy New Year, folks! ^_^

Friday, December 26, 2003

...updating this while in Iloilo, on my bro's laptop with dial-up internet connection
~sigh~ I miss my DSL connection ^_^

Thought this would make an interesting list (from G's blog)

Best gifts received this Christmas
5. Mga Panibagong Kulam by Tony Perez (interesting gift from B -- no doubt, he now regrets giving this to me. ^_^)
4. knowing that J got his DSL; E and A with Siglo (am soooo happy for the two of them) -- knowing that the people around me are happy ^_^
3. being able to watch a premiere of LotR: RotK (getting to see the trailer for Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban) ^_^
2. being invited (and being able to attend) the CC party ^_^ -- L, next year, we will try to stay longer
1. the original .hack//sign OSTs (from my sister), a nice white Sony Cybershot (from my bros), the pink beaded watch, which I beaded myself (from my youngest bro)

... and my youngest bro gave me my birthday gift in advance -- the OST for The Classic (played it in the store when E was there and both of us got teary-eyed remembering the scenes from the movie ~sigh~)

An interesting situation--
So, I'm in Iloilo and all I can think of is what I would be doing if I were in Manila. When I'm in Manila, I miss being in Iloilo. B asked me what's in Iloilo that isn't in Manila and I replied: What's in Iloilo that isn't in Manila = What's in Manila that isn't in Iloilo" -- people. That's what tips and/or balances the scales for me, which is why I still haven't decided where to stay permanently.

A really outrageous solution is to stay in neither -- and I've joked about this for some time now. I should just pack my bags and move to Cebu or Davao or somewhere (as long as there's DSL and a decent bookstore, I will be happy).

Here's hoping I find an answer to this soon ^_^

* * *

Been on an anime-watching frenzy. Have seen and enjoyed:
1. Matantei Ragnarok Loki
2. Read or Dream (watched this twice na -- cool!)
3. Peace Maker Kurogane (OMG! L, you have to watch this one ^_^)
4. Gunslinger Girl (interesting/disturbing)

still have:
Witch Hunter Robin (not compelled to watch it -- kinda boring =P)
DN Angel
Samurai Deeper Kyo

... I've seen more anime in the past 3 days than I have in the past year.

Sunday, December 21, 2003

Hectic week--

Been running around this entire week, trying to catch up to a world that was moving much too fast. Had dinner with friends in Makati last Tuesday, attended a fun fun Christmas party Saturday afternoon and attended the launch of Siglo Saturday evening. In between, there were presents to be wrapped and business matters that needed to be settled before the year ended.

... and it is done. ~whew!~

On Tuesday, I go home to Iloilo where I will rest and read and spend the holidays with my family.

* * *

Siglo Launch

I attended the event with G and P. Am very very proud of E and A. (tears tears ^_^)

It was an interesting evening -- I've never been one for these types of social events, but I looked at it as another experience to write about. Had fun, got drinks for free, had my copy of Siglo signed.

It's a lovely book, well worth the PhP250 that you'll pay for it.

* * *

Thoughts for the end of another year

... I was going to write about my thoughts on turning older, but I realized I was contradicting myself. There's no easy way for me to talk about turning 26 without sounding crazy.

... so I will go sort my thoughts first, turn 26 and then come back to write about it. ^_^

* * *

Last of my lists:

Happy Thoughts
5. ...what A wrote on his page of my copy of Siglo (awkward phrase -- sorry!) -- Congrats A! You deserve this and so much more ^_^
4. getting really good seats for the premiere of Return of the King (and the crowd was so nice!). Since this is movie-related, will also add this: seeing Hero on the big screen twice and Possession once.
3. my life and the people I have in it right now (I want for nothing more ... seriously ^_^)
2. January 2003, Cafe Ysabel -- what a great way to turn 25 (to be with your friends and have dinner in a really nice place)
1. that my friends will break me out of prison if I ever find myself in one (long story*) -- my sister will try and will probably succeed. C and F will also give it a go (this would be fun to see). A will also try (but he'll be mad at me first and I will have to suffer a lecture and lots of "haynakus!" ^_^). J and B would also be an interesting pair to watch -- J would be OC and B would be zen ... but they would eventually get me out (... I hope ^_^).

*B asked me this question last night: If you were in prison for a crime punishable by the death penalty, who do you know would break you out without you having to ask them? I didn't hesitate to answer: My sister, first. C and F next. A after. J & B last. B said, he'd probably try but would have to get in line first. ^_^ (I have few friends, but I love them all dearly.)

Discoveries for 2003
5. Alabang isn't _that_ far away. (and my aunt's driver is usually free during weekends -- oh, the possibilities ^_^) Hehehe, I only go to Alabang once a year (and it's usually with a lot of preparation beforehand). This year, I decided to be zen about it and just go -- thoroughly enjoyed myself. Great way to spend a Saturday. ^_^ (Thanks, B)
4. How to take the MRT and LRT to Ongpin. E told me about this place in Ongpin that sells HK/Asian vcds. A was the only one brave enough to accompany me. ^_^ Now I usually go once a month. Best thing I bought from that place: My Sassy Girl (close second: The Classic -- starts crying again. ~sniff~)
3. HK/Korean/Japanese films -- haaaay, and I resisted them for sooo long (am so dense that way). My bro had to emotionally blackmail me into watching Who Are You? (If you love me, you will watch this with me -- trust me, this works. But only for my sibs)'s actually my bro, the History teacher, who has good taste in movies -- I just happen to be there when he watches them ^_^
2. Lomos -- a way for me to pretend to be artistic ^_^ I love my Holga and SuperSampler ^_^
1. Ilse! -- took me on a twirl through his wild wild world (great companion for walks around Ateneo/Katipunan; most unusual insights and conversation topics) ... a most excellent friend. ^_^

* * *

Am off to Iloilo tomorrow (it's Monday evening). Hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas!

To borrow a line from Tori Amos (actually, this is the song in my head right now) -- pretty good year. ^_^

See you all next year! ^_^

"The year's at the spring,
And day's at the morn;
Morning's at seven;
The hill-side's dew-pearled;
The lark's on the wing;
The snail's on the thorn;
God's in his Heaven -
All's right with the world!"
- Robert Browning

Thursday, December 18, 2003

One retains the strangest things when reading Lit Theory stuff...
Literature, according to these recent discourse theories, re-presents and refracts reality. Indeed, language itself constitutes reality; it also produces distortions... literature represents reality; but reality is grounded in convention, not nature and it is subject to illusion. - Norton Anthology of Theory and Criticism

Conversation with friend:
Me: am reading the Norton Anthology of Theory and Criticism and had a nice insight into Language -- language reflects reality, yet, at the same time, because of the use of tropes and whatnots, distorts it
B: define tropes and whatnots..
Me: i can't really -- but i can give a good example, for instance, in the sentence "i like you" -- the sentence seems simple enough -- very linear. there is an "i" who likes a "you" -- but liking someone is never _that_ simple di ba? -- this is where language deceives us but, at the same time, that _is_ reality -- there is no way to reflect how complicated it is to like someone ^_^
B: Also deceives us offhand because our cognitive functions assume we know what it means.
Me: yeah, see ^_^
B: We automatically assume certain things when the complexity of it demands rediscovery everytime.

* * *

Been busy these past few days -- but when I look back at it, I really don't remember what I've been doing. It's all been a blur of things that need to be done and things I did (for kicks).

Last Tuesday, I had dinner out with friends. We met up at Chicken Lickin' at the GT Tower foodcourt (nice place, btw). I usually don't like Makati, but, that evening, the city looked soooooo beautiful and the weather was perfect. I told my friend, "Okay, I will give you this. I love Makati tonight. But just tonight."


* * *

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Today I decided to walk barefoot in the Ateneo Lib.

Because the floor looked cold and nice to walk on with barefeet.
Because I miss walking on cold marble.
Because I've decided to stop worrying what other people might think of me.

So there I was, browsing through the Shakespeare collection with my slippers in one hand and the Norton Anthology of English Literature in the other. (When I have enough money, I will buy the entire Norton collection -- EVERYTHING they've ever printed. ^_^)

And I realized that people really didn't care -- a guy walked into that same aisle, looked around and left. All this time, I was worrying for nothing.

Shakespeare's Michael Cassio bemoans the loss of his reputation: "Reputation, reputation, reputation! O, I have lost my reputation! I have lost the immortal part of myself..." (Othello, Act 2, Scene 3) and I've always functioned along the same lines -- thinking that appearance is everything.

But there is more to life than worrying about this. (I've only realized this recently -- better late than never, right? ^_^)

When I got back to the store, I decided to walk around barefoot again.

Because it's my store? hehehehe ^_^
Seriously -- because it felt good.

* * *

More of my lists:

Things I did that I am most proud of
5. deciding to complete my MA (not that there was any doubt... but it was hard trying to motivate myself to work on that effing thesis)
4. ***
3. reading all the books I read this year (i love books ^_^)
2. completing chapter 1 of my thesis (yay! sa wakas!)
1. living my life ^_^ (h'ray for me)

*** I'm sure I've done a lot of things that I'm proud of, but what defined this year for me is my MA. I am on the verge of completing something that I've worked hard on for the past 3 years and all that stands in my way is a comprehensive exam, 4 chapters of a thesis and a defense.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

Got this from L's blog:

Love hurts, don't it? You're in pure love— the kind with sonnets and hovering cherubs— and you ache like an old man's back for your crush. The superficial things that other people care about— money, looks, body odor— don't hold much water with you. You wouldn't care if your dreamboat were the Exxon Valdez, so don't be surprised if you ever fall in love with an oily barge. Respect the twinkie, but don't ignore its needs.


* * *

At a time when everything else seems to be uncertain, I turn to (one of) my security blanket(s), the Rent OST, and remember that there is no day but today and life is mine to live. ^_^

* * *

Strange day in my part of QC:

Early in the morning, we hear that they found a dead body stuffed inside a balikbayan box somewhere along Katipunan, which was causing massive traffic (which is, really, never a surprise -- the traffic, I mean). This is, of course, unconfirmed. Will definitely check tomorrow's newspaper.

On our way home, there was a something happening in the flyover and we thought it was still the dead body (my sister and I were thinking, poor dead body) but it was another accident -- a truck had overturned (probably speeding ... tsk tsk).

Yellow Cab Pizza opened at around 330pm. (This last piece of news isn't really strange. ^_^)

* * *

More lists

Places in Katipunan
5. Rustan's Fresh (nothing cures a bad mood like a supermarket ^_^)
4. The Old Spaghetti House
3. Aeon Books (though I've only been there once)
2. Chocolate Kiss (in UP) / Starbucks
1. Natural Spa (in Rustan's Fresh)

yes, yes -- there is also Baci (formerly Encomium), Octopus and CCHQ ^_^
... I also like the chapel in Moro

Places elsewhere
5. my house! (hahahahahah ^_^)
4. the new wing in Galleria / Greenhills Theater Mall (row A!)
3. Podium (because of Banana Leaf Curry House, Hobbes and the National Bookstore there)
2. the new Greenbelt
1. Powerplant Mall (because of Fully Booked and being able to "buy the bucket" ^_^)

TV Shows
5. CSI: Miami
4. Amazing Race
3. Art Attack (on Disney)
2. Oprah / Cheers / Dharma and Greg (anything that shows from around 8 to 930am)
1. Buffy (season 6?) / CSI

Games (console, PC, online, etc.)
4. Sakura Taisen 1 on PS2
3. Neopets / Ragnarok Online
2. Sakura Taisen 4 on Dreamcast
1. Rise of Nations (thank God I can't play this on my PC -- addicting!)

Right now, it's just RO, though ~sigh~ ^_^
More lists...

5. Wonderful Days (an animated movie from Korea. the movie is so-so, but the OST is amazing!)
4. Daredevil (because of Evanescence's My Immortal)
3. Who Are You? / In the Mood for Love (~sigh~)
2. The Classic (but I haven't gotten a copy yet)
1. Children of Dune / Kill Bill (my sister and I are suffering from last song syndrome -- help!)

5. Come Away with Me by Norah Jones
4. White Flag by Dido
3. My Immortal by Evanescence
2. Kimi yo Hana yo (Sakura Taisen 4)
1. Taxi Ride by Tori Amos

* * *

Watched The Classic last night. Cried buckets. I hate it when a movie affects me this much. ~sigh~ ^_^

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Realized today that it is already December and I wonder where the time went -- Tempus Fugit! ^_^

Haven't done any of my Christmas shopping yet (so unlike me, really -- normally, all gifts would be ready by sem break ~sigh~)

Here's the start of my top 5s for 2003.

Movies watched on video (VCD/DVD/VHS)
5. Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress
4. Wanee and Junah
3. Chinese Odyssey 2002
2. Who Are You?
1. My Sassy Girl / Finding Nemo / The Classic (added on December 4*)

... actually, it could have been an all-Wong Kar-Wai/Tony Leung Chiu-Wai list: (In the Mood for Love, Chungking Express, Days of Being Wild, etc. etc. ^_^)

*The Classic is another Korean film. Damn it, this movie made me cry so hard my head hurt. ~sigh~

Movies watched on the big screen
5. Possession
4. League of the Extraordinary Gentlemen
3. X2
2. Hero
1. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers / Kill Bill vol 1

Movies that I wanted to watch but didn't/haven't (and are either not out on video or I just haven't gotten a copy)
5. The Shape of Things (from Neil LaBute, director of Possession)
4. Pirates of the Carribean
3. Warriors of Heaven and Earth
2. Infernal Affairs 2
1. Runaway Jury / Battle Royale 2

... there's also Chicago, Down with Love, (would you believe Gangs of New York?), etc. etc.

Cartoon shows
5. Madeline (Disney)
4, Spongebob Squarepants (Nickelodeon)
3. Mr. Bean (Disney)
2. Fairly Oddparents (Nickelodeon)
1. As Told by Ginger (Nickelodeon)

... also X-Men Evolution (Cartoon Network) and The Wild Thornberry's (Nickelodeon)

Comic Series
5. League of the Extraordinary Gentlemen / Courtney Crumrin
4. Ultimates
3. Runaways / New Mutants
2. Batgirl (Dylan Horrocks' run)
1. Fables

... I know New X-Men should be on this list, but I haven't gotten around to reading it yet. I've only read the first issue of Ultimate X-Men, but it started out well and I want to read more ^_^

... there's also Y the Last Man and Daredevil (and for Japanese manga: Fruits Basket, Sakura Taisen and Kareshi Kanojo no Jijyo)

Gadgets I lusted over
5. optical wheel mouse (thanks to B for recommending one to me ^_^)
4. my bro's laptop (super souped-up!)
3. Ericsson P800 or P900
2. Sony Cybershot -- cuuuuuuuute! I was able to carry one in my small handbag ^_^
1. Lomo cameras!

... list will be continued ^_^

Monday, December 01, 2003

Currently listening to: Tori Amos's Taxi Ride (her new album, Tales from a Librarian is out in the US.)

Last night, our internet connection was buggy so we decided to log off and watch TV. MYX was showing the music video of My Immortal by Evanescence (from the Daredevil OST). It's a really lovely song ... sad, haunting, etc. etc. Seeing the video reminded us that we hadn't watched our Daredevil R3 DVD, so we ended up watching it with Tagalog subtitles. ^_^ The translation was pretty good -- there were some parts na sablay (Daredevil: I grew up in the Kitchen = Lumaki ako sa kusina ^_^).

I spent my Saturday in Alabang (was pleasantly surprised that, despite the traffic, I still got there in about an hour) and met up with friends. Being around them (two sets of friends) made me realize just how much I have to be grateful for (I love my friends! ^_^).

I remember a conversion I had with A about two weeks ago:

Me: How do I look?
A: You look like someone who's happy, but doesn't know what to do with that fact.

... how does one reply to that? I just smiled. ^_^

Truth is, I'm very suspicious of happiness because there's always a catch to it; there are always strings attached (and I'd rather be untangled). A few months ago, I gave up a perfectly good chance to go on a trip because I couldn't handle the spontaneous show of generosity. Right now (I've adpated a new POV), I am simply enjoying the ride. There may be a catch to all this down the road, but I'll deal with that when I get there. ^_^

* * *

My friend C posted this on her friendster bulletin board. C was a good friend in college, but we lost touch when we graduated. We bumped into each other again at the recollection. ^_^

1. List five things you'd like to accomplish by the end of the year.
- finish reading for the theory part of my comprehensive exam
- organize the bookshelves and the video shelf (ugh!)
- find time to have lunch/dinner with all of my friends
- visit my teacher friends in Xavier
- pRO-related = forge!

2. List five people you've lost contact with that you'd like to hear from again.
- well, C was one of them
- Abbie, a good friend from high school
- Cheng, another good friend from high school
- Jay P. (but he texted last Saturday, so ...)
- Jay L.

3. List five things you'd like to learn how to do.
- drive
- make creme brulee
- polaroid transfers (for people who've seen Crazy/Beautiful, Kirsten Dunst takes a polaroid picture of a sleeping Jay Hernandez and then proceeds to transfer the image to her notebook.)
- dance? hahahaha ^_^
- speak another language fluently

4. List five things you'd do if you won the lottery (no limit).
- charity (the orphanage in Iloilo and the home for old folks, the Ateneo Scholar's Fund, etc.)
- set up funds for people who need it (people with great ideas, etc.) / pay for my godchildren's education
- travel!
- set up a retirement fund for all of my teachers and yayas
- save the rest

5. List five things you do that help you relax.
- spa! (massage = an hour of heaven -- with a small H ^_^)
- read / write down thoughts
- go on a walk (especially around Ateneo/Katipunan)
- have a good meal / go shopping (window shopping is ok, but it's even better when I have money ^_^)
- ask for hugs ^_^