Sometimes I believe all the lies
So I can do the things I should despise
And every day I am swayed
By whatever is on my mind

I hear it all depends on my faith
So I'm feeling precarious
The only problem I have with these mysteries
Is they're so mysterious

And like a consumer I've been thinking
If I could just get a bit more
More than my 15 minutes of faith,
Then I'd be secure

(Chorus)
My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace

I've begged you for some proof
For my Thomas eyes to see
A slithering staff, a leperous hand
And lions resting lazily

A glimpse of your back-side glory
And this soaked altar going ablaze
But you know I've seen so much
I explained it away

Chorus

Waters rose as my doubts reigned
My sand-castle faith, it slipped away
Found myself standing on your grace
It'd been there all the time

(Chorus repeated)

Stand on grace
- Shifting Sand by Caedmon's Call

Because I now have time to do this --

Found this on N's blog -- I thought it was interesting and wanted to give it a go ^_^

13 Random Things You Like
13. Really crunchy fishballs with the sweet sauce
12. Going to the spa for a two-hour break from reality
11. Going abroad and having money to go shopping
10. Bookstores and enough time to browse through it
9. A really good musical (and tickets that aren't too expensive)
8. Being able to do something nice for a friend
7. Singapore
6. Watching Unwrapped on weekdays at 630pm with my sister and my J
5. Knowing what my bros want and being able to get it for them
4. Discovering something new and being able to share that experience with my J
3. A good game of VtES
2. A well-written book
1. My life and how everything is progressing smoothly

12 Great Movies
12. Amelie
11. Hero
10. Turn Right, Turn Left
9. Glory
8. The Royal Tenenbaums
7. Breakfast at Tiffany's
6. Before Sunrise
5. The Last Samurai
4. Possession
3. Neon Genesis Evangelion: Death/Rebirth and End of Evangelion
2. Gone with the Wind
1. My Sassy Girl

11 Good Bands/Artists
11. The Corrs
10. Lisa Ono
9. Lisa Loeb
8. U2
7. REM
6. Counting Crows
5. Eraserheads
4. Duncan Shiek
3. Sarah Mclachlan
2. Dave Matthews Band
1. Tori Amos

10 Things About You
10. I am obsessive-compulsive and carry a bottle of isopropyl alcohol in my bag
9. I love both sweet and salty stuff
8. I love wearing sandals/rubber slippers -- I really hate wearing and walking in heels.
7. I own 1 pair of formal leather heels
6. I live in skirts
5. I love Shakespeare (and tried to read through ALL of it -- but didn't)
4. I love being a teacher
3. I am very picky about the books I read and when I read them -- I have books I've bought years ago and still haven't read. It took me two years to get through AS Byatt's A Biographer's Tale.
2. I adore my siblings
1. I am still in awe of how freaky/cool it is to be with someone whom I share the same birthdate with

9 Friends Nung Kabataan
9. Abbie
8. Chenggay
7. Elben
6. Michael
5. Chun Leng
4. Iris
3. Doreen
2.
1.
... I really didn't have that many friends growing up

8 Favorite Foods/Drinks
8. caramel popcorn
7. Jollibee Chicken Joy
6. orange juice
5. Ice Monster Mango with Sago
4. Congo Grill sisig
3. M&Ms Peanut Butter
2. peanut butter and Nutella <-- this counts as a food, right? ^_^ 1. Earl Grey Tea with milk

7 Things You Wear Every Day
7. watch
6. anklet my J gave me for our first monthsary
5. glasses
4. a skirt
3.
2.
1.

6 Things That Make You Happy
6. waking up in the mornings and knowing I am completely at peace with the universe
5. being with friends
4. trips abroad
3. lazy Sundays
2. my sibs
1. my J

5 Shows You Watch
5. As Told By Ginger
4. Unwrapped
3. Will and Grace
2. Ed
1. Even Stevens

4 Things That Irritate You
4. when it gets too hot
3. when I don't know what to wear in the morning <--- yes, I am this shallow and vain 2. narrow-minded idiots 1. people who drive but shouldn't because they suck at it

3 Celebrities You Admire
3. Tori Amos
2. Bono
1. Susan Sarandon

2 People on Friendster Whom You Invited First
2. my cousin J and her hubby
1. Galactus

One Greatest Fear in Life
1. Mediocrity

* * *

Advance Notice --

My J and I will be trying the new Sun Cellular promo -- the unlimited text thingy --

So for a week (will let you guys know when the week starts), we'll be using different numbers to test whether it's worth it.

Yay! --

As of 11:30am today, I am officially on sem break.

Yay!

I was supposed to be done with everything yesterday morning, but I had to wait for one student to submit the requirements. ~sigh~

I got a trim at Bench Fix and will now devote some time to taking care of my skin (which was woefully unattended to all this time)

Yes, I am vain.

Anyhoo -- now that I have free time, this is my list of things to do:
- get a haircut = done!
- watch a movie with my J = done! (but I want more, please -- preferably with caramel popcorn ^_^)
- meet up with college friends (I had lunch with my friend JC last Friday and I realized how much I miss these people)
- have coffee and cakes with E and G (*ahem* -- poke poke ^_^)
- read Tuck Everlasting
- read Dicken's A Christmas Carol
- learn how to drive
- get driver's license
- fix/organize my room and my house (erg -- I am not looking forward to this)
- learn how to make my own caramel popcorn (will try to get this done later -- my J and I are going to Fresh to get the ingredients)

* * *

The Vienna Boys Choir will be in town for a performance on November 7. Tickets range from PhP500 to PhP2500.

* * *

For some strange reason, I want to go to Vietnam.

Probably because of all the spring rolls I've been eating here.

Or I really just want to go.

And Shanghai -- to visit C.

Gaaah! Wanderlust! >_<

I love As Told by Ginger --

All this time it was you
I didn't think that it could be true
You were right there from the start
And what might be the strangest part
Is while I sure enjoyed the view
Of seeing everything brand new
It's still you
All this time I was home
I didn't know just how far I'd roam
Winter brings all this snow
Blinding, it covers everything you know
But when the sun comes shining through
And the sky returns to blue
I will rush to take my cue and find you.

* * *

Hello, stranger - you came just in time
I look for your face in a crowd, or in line
Hello, stranger - not a moment too soon
See, that old picture's fading in the drawer of my room
Now toys have gone lost, baby teeth have come loose
There were accidents involving stitches, spilt juice
Report cards were shown, and one time I got sick
But it's nothing I couldn't catch you up on real quick
Hello, stranger - I saved you a place
And it hardly seems strange now that I've seen your face

* * *

There were copper-colored ponies
there was air that smelled like rain
And the moon was out in daytime
when I first learned your name
and though the clouds a-quickly moved in
Though the path looked overgrown
the time that I spent talkin' to you
made me feel like I was home

* * *

For the MP3 and Video of the opening and for that really haunting piece "And She Was Gone," click here.

* * *

Weekend Fun! --

.... and it started yesterday!

My J and I had a walking tour of my part of town -- we started in Little Baguio (near Xavier School) and then made our way to Ortigas and then to Wilson (where we made a LOT of stops: Wei Wang for ma pa -- beef jerky, Green Joy for haw flakes) and to J. Abad where we visited Ice Monster for ... erm ... ice stuff, Tita Merce's for sisig and bbq and another Chinese place for canned coffee)

And then back to Little Baguio.

And, no -- we didn't eat them all. >_<

We plan to watch movies this weekend (so many to choose from >_<) and hang out with a friend on his birthday on Sunday.

I'm lucky to be able to spend this much time with my J -- and the funny thing is, I still get excited to see him everytime. There's always a new kwento or chika. There's always something new to do.

~tee hee~

My J makes me smile. =D

* * *

In other news --

Am nearly done checking papers -- I can't believe I'll be giving Cs and Ds to students ...

in English! That's really an achievement, considering I have a built-in basement mindset not to give anything lower than an 85. Seriously -- just do the work, show some effort and that counts as an 85 in my book.

And, yet, some students have managed to get Cs (70-74) and Ds (60-69).

Oh well.

*shrug*

* * *

Pleasant Surprise --

While checking the final drafts for my En11 class, I stumbled upon some notes written by my students thanking me for the semester.

It's nice to get that kind of affirmation. ^_^

* * *

Cabaret! --

Is opening at Music Museum on November 5. I wanna watch it!

Picture! --

Remember that really nice picture that C took of me and my J at our friend's wedding in Cavite?

Well, I finally uploaded it. ^_^

I love this pic -- this is what we would look like if we went to the prom together.

Except that we would be too old to go to the prom. ^^;;

* * *

Wasabi! --

The lunch buffet at Wasabi is worth it! Everyone should try it out when they get a chance. ^_^

My favorite part was the dessert -- my J raved about the Creme Latte, which is a coffee-flavored custard. I also had a slice of chocolate cake and a slice of cheesecake and had a mango crepe made.

And then we went home and watched Super Size Me.

We felt so guilty about having *ahem* over-indulged like that and have vowed to go soda-less for this week.

So far so good. ^_^

* * *

Finally! --

I finished reading A Year in Provence this afternoon!

I was reading it while administering the final exam for En10 this afternoon.

Ganda! It is a joy to read.

Yun lang.

And now I'm reading Tuck Everlasting, which is also amazing!

(Thanks E for the copy ^_^)

* * *

Activities! --

There's an Interior Design exhibit ongoing at Paseo Center in Makati. If you're in the area, go check it out. It's fun. ^_^ (until the end of the month)

New Voice will be staging Cabaret at Music Museum this coming November. (The reason to go to this is that Ugoy Ugoy will be providing the music. A cool thing.)

This week, so many good movies are showing:
- A Shark's Tale
- Wimbledon
- House of Flying Daggers
- Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

~sigh~

All the malls are going on sale this weekend. (And I got a text message from Chocolate telling me that they're going on sale in Megamall -- and there is this really cute skirt that I've been eyeing...)

It's a friend's birthday this week and we're trying to decide whether to take him to Old Swiss Inn for fondue or the Beachhouse for BBQ.

* * *

Stop all the clocks --

Many of us are mourning the death of Christopher Reeve, the original Superman and I am one of those people. I loved the Superman series and had such a huge crush on him when I was younger.

When he got into that terrible accident, I felt bad for him and thought that would be the end of him -- but he proved many of us wrong. I think he did his best work after that -- off camera pa.

Another great figure also passed away -- Jacques Derrida. (And this one affected me more, actually)

While Christopher Reeve got front-page coverage on every major newspaper, Jacques Derrida was allotted a teeny-tiny section in the same papers.

Requiescat in Pace.

So this is what this is like --

It's Sunday and I woke up this morning with nothing to do.

It is a wonderful feeling -- not to be rushed or hassled by the knowledge that Monday is 24 hours away.

I'm done checking all my papers. I don't really have to report to work anymore -- except this Wednesday when my En10 class has their final exam.

*exhales*

It was a hectic last few weeks -- and the last week wasn't so great --

I had to deal with a very annoying student whom I just want to scream at right now.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! <-- there.

^_^

Much better.

So many things planned today -- a lunch buffet, an Interior Design exhibit at Paseo Center and magazines to buy. ^_^

* * *

Fahrenheit 9/11 --

My J and I had planned to watch Super Size Me yesterday but could not find our copy of it. We ended up watching Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11.

That was a very intense documentary. I lost myself in the narrative and was crying through it all.

What really got to me was the mother from Flint, Michigan -- I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to lose your son.

Or a parent. Or anyone for that matter.

My J and I then discussed the ongoing elections campaign in the US --

I don't want Bush to win, but I don't think Kerry has what it takes to win.

~sigh~

What earthquake? --

My J and I had a wonderful session at the spa yesterday -- we really enjoy the steam room where we sweat out all the nasty stuff in our bodies. And our therapists yesterday were so good. ^_^

We were going home na when, in the cab, we decided to make a detour to Eastwood.

This turned out to be an interesting side trip --

Dinner at Fazoli's, dessert at Floyd's (smoosh-in goodness!)

There was also a mime performing in the mall. Galing! ^^

I love my J. ^_^

* * *

Good vibrations! --

C and I have been chatting quite regularly on MSN and today he showed me the link to John Kovalic's LJ --

John Kovalic has a project right now and he calls it "good vibrations" -- he copied the concept from his wife.

No matter how successful you feel, no matter how much self-confidence and self-esteem you have, the self-doubt will rear it's ugly head from time-to-time. I actually have a list of things that I accomplished in my life that usually works as a good antidote for the self-doubt:

Lori's Life Achievements:
-Gold Award (the highest award in Girl Scouting)
-BA in English/Creative Writing earned 13 years after graduating high school
-Living almost 20 years after suicide attempt
-13+ year marriage to the World's Greatest Husband
-3 wonderful cats -I own a house
-gainfully employed full-time since 1992, w/state since 1993, currently working a job I love and in my field
-Christmas Child, a short story I wrote and gave as a gift to family and friends Xmas 2001
-The Pie, a story I wrote for Heroic Stories (Good news in a bad news world) http://www.geocities.com/delazan/writing/writing.html

I'm working on my list now. On of the coolest things I've done, or at least one of the things I'm proudest of, is to rescue or help rescue three animals this last year. An awesome cat, a cool gerbil and a giant bloody great snapping turtle (full story to come. trust me: "John vs. The Snapping Turtle" is good).

So, this begs the question...what's YOUR list look like?

Am thinking of my list right now. Will probably write it later. ^_^

* * *

Yay! --

It's the weekend and school is OVER!

Yay!

I'm really glad it's Friday and it's the last day of classes. I only have 12 papers to check and then I'm done.

I think my J and I are treating ourselves to a session at the spa today to detox and relax.

(and if I'm lucky, I might get a meal at Chocolate Kiss after -- hint hint ^_^)

Oprah Moment --

The first time I wore a skirt was when I graduated from college six years ago. I had it made in Iloilo and I even chose the cloth for it. I was so excited to have it and couldn't wait for an occasion to wear it.

The occasion came and I wore my skirt, feeling so wonderful in something that I had helped make.

And then I'm told that it didn't look good on me -- I didn't have the figure for it.

The next time I decided to wear a skirt was a year later. I was enjoying my job (and the salary) in Xavier and felt it was time to make a transition from ? (I wasn't a kid, but I didn't think I was an adult yet) to adulthood.

One of the ways I made this transition was in the clothes that I wore.

This was my bible.

I also had help from my friend, C (super-bonding summer!).

That summer, we would spend hours going around malls and department stores. She helped me build the foundation of my current wardrobe.

She had this philosophy, which I follow to this date:
If you feel good on the inside, then you will look good on the outside.
If you look good on the outside, then you will feel good on the inside.

For the most part, I get by pretty well, without experiencing episodes of insecurity about my body. But there are those times when I absolutely hate myself.

And then, I got an Oprah moment (a moment of enlightenment; a you-go-girl! moment)

I am lucky to live in a time when women are slowly becoming more comfortable about their bodies. Walking around campus, I love seeing the many shapes of women dressed so prettily. They aren't limited by their size -- they manage to look good.

I like it that women are showing their curves.

* * *

A Visit! --

This whole week, I've been stressed out checking papers and seeing my students for consultation. I finally got sick checking papers (literally! A fever!) last Sunday.

And today, just when everything was turning bleak and I still had a stack of papers to check, I got treated to a wonderful visit from E!.

And he came bearing gifts pa -- a copy of Tuck Everlasting. ^_^

That was a bright spot in my day. (Thanks, E. Coffee some time soon? Hopefully G can join us. *ahem* pokes G ^_^)

Oh, how the gods must be laughing right now --

So it's the last week of classes and it's a very hectic week for me --

Consultations for final drafts, oral presentations to be graded, first drafts to be returned, etc. etc. --

And here I am with a fever and painful joints.

And just last week, I was telling all of my students to "hang in there" and to "mind their healths" because they wouldn't want to be sick at this crucial point in the semester.

Hardeharhar =P

* * *

Sunday --

Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave
- Maroon 5, "Sunday Morning"

My J and I had such grand plans for Sunday. We were going to Galleria to watch a movie and then go around to check out the new stuff. Lunch was going to be at Mangan (which we both love --)

But I woke up feeling really weird -- my bones were hurting and I was clammy.

He brought over some orange juice and we spent the day at the house na lang.

Though it wasn't what we originally planned to do, I'd like to think we still had a grand time -- watching all those shows on Lifestyle and Disney --

Yesterday --

On my way to the store from the dept, I saw this man standing on the sidewalk in front of Red Ribbon. He was waiting for a cab. He had a cake box with a birthday candle taped on the top of the box. 7 -- it was probably for his son or daughter who was turning 7 that day.

I realized that I wanted that.

I want to see myself, some time in the future, standing on the sidewalk with a cake box waiting to go home.

My cubicle-mate, after seeing a picture of me and my J (our friend, C took the picture at the wedding reception we all attended last Saturday), said "three."

Apparently, that's how many children he sees me and my J having.

"Introduce them to me when they're older."

This made me smile.

Things I want to do during the sem break --

With the papers piling up, two things keep me sane: my J and the thought that sem break is in two weeks.

I was supposed to go home to Iloilo, but the enrollment sked of Ateneo wouldn't permit me to stay long.

So I'm spending my sem break here --

Plans:
1. Clean and re-organize my closet. The clothes I wear when I teach are completely different from my usual clothes. I really need to fix up my closet so I won't have trouble getting ready for work na.

2. Go on a day trip out of town. My J gets Saturdays and Sundays free -- which are my days off also. The road trip last Saturday with friends was so much fun. Maybe we could plan another one for October. ^_^

3. Learn how to drive. I think 26 is a good age to learn. ^_____^

4. Update my closet. This will happen after I finish sorting through my clothes.

... but first, I have to check papers.

Bleh =P

Bookbinding Workshop --

Natalie Uhing, a bookbinder with 10 years of experience, will be holding a bookbinding workshop toteach those seriously interested in learning how tomake a codex-bound book (that is the traditional bookwith sewn pages and rigid covers). She and her partner, Kristian Larsen, have been livingin El Nido, Palawan for the past 5 years, and the couple started handbinding one-of-a-kind journals and sketchbooks of recycled wood, fabric and leather, to support their simple lifestyle there.

Last year the couple decided that the time hadcome to move on, and are set to sail for Australia by the first week of December, 2004. The workshop stems from a desire to pass the craft of bookbinding on to those who take a serious interest in learning this fine craft.

The workshop will be held from Oct. 1 to 3, that's Fri. - Sun., from 10 a.m. till 4 p.m. at 37 Hill Drive, Beverly Hills, Antipolo, Rizal. The fee is P 5,000.00, (includes lunch and a light merienda) The workshop will cover the traditional codex format of bookbinding. It's one of the strongest bindings, and with small changes/variations (which Uhing will demonstrate) the format can be made with wooden or other rigid covers. The aim in teaching this workshop is to ensure that students will be able to continue making these books in a home environment with ordinary tools and do not require special bindery equipment. Uhing will also give a list of all her own suppliers, a bibliography of bookbinding references, a list of websites for bookbinding.

The class is limited to 12 students, on a first come, first served basis. For questions and to register, please e-mail Natalie Uhing at mobile : 0916 491 9078 or telephone: 658 4763.

* * *

Journals! --

This same couple is selling some of their stuff. Check it out here.

I think I want to get one of the wood-bound ones. Very pretty. ^_^

I see color! --

Finally!

I can see colors normally on my monitor -- and all it took was an updated driver that I downloaded from the online website.

^_^

* * *

Three guys, a girl and a full tank of gas --

... will blog about the weekend adventure tomorrow. Will sleep first. *yawn!*

Nature --

A few days ago, while walking the path from Gate 2 to the English Department, I came across a felled tree --

I thought it would make an interesting subject for a photograph --

It was a good thing that I decided to bring my supersampler with me (with some leftover Ilford 1600 film inside) --

I stood there and started taking pictures of it --

Of the exposed roots --

Of the smaller plants still growing on the base --

Of the intricate pattern created by broken branches, twigs and leaves --

There was such beauty in its destruction.

There I was, with my Lomo Supersampler -- switching from .2 seconds to 2 seconds, creating movement where there was none.

A short distance away, was another fallen tree, much like the first one --

But this one had a white band of cloth around its middle, as though someone had tended to it.

I found an angle where I could take a shot with both trees in the picture --

Later that day, I saw a butterfly feasting on the carcass of a dead frog.

Weekend Adventure! --

My J has already written about how we plan to make the trip to Cavite for our friend's wedding in his blog -- we're lucky that our friends D and C agreed to accompany (and drive) us there. So, it's a mini-road trip.

Our first time "out of town" and it's our 6th monthsary pa.

We plan to visit Festival Mall and Alabang Town Center and perhaps eat at the original branch of Mushroom Burger in Tagaytay.

If we had more money, we would probably make the trip to Sonya's Garden -- but we don't. ^_^

It promises to be an interesting adventure.

And, yes, I will take lots of pictures along the way.

* * *

I want this book --

Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt

* * *

Countdown to Sem Break --

27 September to 1 October - classes
4 October to 8 October - classes

11 October to 16 October - Exam Week = no more classes

Two weeks left!

And I am drowning in papers to check! >_<>Aeon Books was in Ateneo --

And they were parked at the entrance of our building. We were so scared to go out because we knew we would end up finding something there that we liked and spent money for it.

I ended up getting a HC collection of the Brownings' poems (Robert and Elizabeth) and a collection of contemporary American poetry.

They are selling some of their literary books at a reduced price. I got those two books for about PhP580. (Which is a bargain, considering it's Aeon)

* * *

...I found him whom my soul loves.
- Song of Solomon 3:4

Happy 6, dear.

Pretty pictures! --

Ah, what a great weekend for my J and I -- we have two nice new pictures to add to our collection of "us.jpgs" ^_^

The first one is a picture my mom took of us on the overpass -- yes, the overpass. It was after we went to lunch at Panciteria Lido with my parents. My mom still have some film in her camera and had been bugging us about taking pictures.

My J and I couldn't refuse and am glad we didn't. We look sooooo cute in the picture --

... too bad I can't scan it yet.

Here's the other one --

Last Saturday, I was interviewed for a newspaper article last Saturday and my friend Jing (sorry -- had to name you because people might confuse you for my J ^_^) took this picture of my and my J.

Hay naku, we look so serious kuno -- examine the picture and discover that I am actually reading the comics section (feeling ko, I was *ahem* browsing the horoscopes pa nga eh ^_^)

But it's a nice pic -- thanks, Jing ^_^

* * *

Yes, another entry about food --

My parents are in town because my cousin (from my mother's side) got married. My parents brought batchoy from Iloilo.

It was such a thrill to have my J taste real batchoy for the first time. (And am glad he likes it)

And I'm really enjoying the Jollibee value meal for Chickenjoy and Palabok --

And their Mais Con Yelo ice craze.

~sigh~ So much food! >_<

* * *

What's your name? --

According to this, this is my Hawaiian name: Kahalikine

And this is my J's: Iohana

Waaaah! Soooo lovely! --

This is my bro's office's website --

My bro got so tired of us asking him whether it will rain tomorrow or not that he gave us this site --

It has a link to a place that shows satellite pictures of the climate and weather in the Philippines and her neighbors --

It's like that aquarium channel, but better ^_^ -- check it out, it's so lovely! ^^

* * *

And today's reflection --

You are always fatter than someone else and thinner than someone else.

Am ashamed to admit it, but I succumbed to it -- to that annoying part of me that looked at other people and compared my body to theirs.

My J always tells me he loves me as I am and I've always had a fairly healthy opinion of myself -- but there are these moments, when I just can't help but think that I could be thinner (= a better version of myself) --

~sigh~

My cubicle-mate actually asked me once if I was anorexic because he has never seen me eat --

I've realized that it's when I'm most aware of my weight that I gain the weight and, when I don't think about it at all, that I lose weight.

I really should just decide to be happy the way I am. ^_^

(I am, btw -- happy, that is. I love my life -- I love that I have my J and my sibs and my friends and my work and my friends at work ^_^)

Bleh! part 2 --

It is so hot!

Dammit!

Was planning to go to church at 10 am -- but it was so damned hot.

Went to the 11 am mass instead -- bad idea.

Couldn't concentrate on the mass because of the heat.

* * *

I want this --

At the dept, we have one PC with a working printer.

There are times when I think of an activity on the fly and I need to type it up and print it out -- it's really hard to wait for that one PC to be available.

It is at those times that I wish I had a laptop and a printer with me.

This is the laptop I want -- the Dell Inspiron 700m